Manipulation

Signals.

I spend most of my time sending signals.

Signals that I am listening. Signals that I am understanding. Signals that I am proud. Signals that I am feeling depressed. Nothing is more satisfying than obtaining results from these inputs. Oh, man, we are social animals... We live for these interactions between us. Which part is playing, which is true feelings ?

I love playing with these. I am looking at the results of my interventions on the real. What I like the most is probably getting a girl to fall in love with me. Admit it is a great game ! So stimulating, so rewarding,.. Mainly so entertaining.

One problem is I don't like to loose that game. And I am really really a bad looser guy.

Or... or maybe finally I get so involved in this that I don't know if the feelings I was pretending to have finally became true. It's like falling in love by saying I love you. I remember that for B, I felt in love after writting this little poetry about her for bothering a friend, that probably had true feelings for her... Yeah, i am a bastard. But know what ? I felt in love and suffered. Pain has been my reward for being such a bastard.

Probably it is now time to act different, but I just don't know which feelings in me are true...